Talking to a friend of mine today about the rash of rhetoric that smacks of some people (Democrats) pushing we ovaried few, right back into the 1950′s. While the root of this conversation started with the incendiary comments with regard to Ann Romney, it led to something else entirely. I’m going to start with that first.
Every woman who has ever so much as thought they were pregnant are all of a sudden embroiled in a vast competition. The competition is how much of a terrible parent you are. The “sanctimommies” as one blogger coined them, want to pick apart everything you do from the moment of conception to the day you die and force down your throat the absolute right way to have a baby, feed a baby, change a diaper, breastfeed while they are in high school, whatever. Damned hippies, all of them.
I had both of my children via C-section. The first time emergency, the second time scheduled. Regardless of the circumstances, I’ve been told that I didn’t give birth the right way, that I should have pushed for a completely natural birth, that I should have had my baby at home, or in a bathtub, or that I should have had a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) with the second one. I’ve been made to feel guilty because I made a decision, in concert with my doctor to protect both my life and the lives of my unborn children.
There are women (hippies) who believe that unless you are rocking birth 1600′s style, you haven’t done it right. Because, you know fetal and maternal mortality haven’t gone down dramatically, because of these magical things like hospitals and sanitation and advances in medical care. Having a baby, while it’s all my ovaried sister’s superpower, is a stressful, scary, and painful experience. If there is a way to make that experience both safe and more comfortable, why turn your nose up at it? Hey, if that’s your bag, more power to you, but don’t push your issues off on me. Homebirth is manifestly unsafe. I actually knew a couple whose baby died, while mom was in labor, because they chose to have a homebirth, and there were complications. Talking about VBAC’s I’m going to quote my friend, “If someone offered you a raffle ticket with a 1 in 100 chance of winning, wouldn’t you buy a ticket? Sure, but would you risk your uterus and potentially your life on the same odds? Probably not. ”
Breastfeeding, cloth diapers, and all organic home made baby food? Good for you, but I don’t have the time, inclination, or drive to make those things happen. Breastfeeding your kid when they are starting kindergarten, I think it’s strange, but you go right on ahead. You can stay at home and paint on your windows with pudding with your kids….awesome, but I have to and want to work.
This drives me back home. While I complain about stay at home moms who complain about how they don’t have any money or don’t do what is their “job” in the deal they’ve struck with their husband or significant other, don’t give me a hard time because I work everyday. My children are provided for, just as the Romney’s children were provided for. Ann Romney didn’t need to work. The woman had a whole tribe of little boys, she probably worked harder than any ten people you know. Also, her husband was a businessman (excuse my French), and so she had other things to concern herself with such as running the “home business” since her husband was too busy running his company.
To all those women who are fighting so hard for us to party like it’s 1699, you can go to hell. MY choices are mine, and I’m happy and perfectly okay with taking advantage of the fact that I can buy disposable diapers, and mass produced baby food and formula. Oh, and sleep my babies in a crib and not wear them as an accessory.