1670 – Henry Morgan captures Panama. Do you have a little Captain in you? Well Panama does!

1884 – Dr. William Price attempts to cremate the body of his infant son, Jesus Christ Price, setting a legal precedent for cremation in the United Kingdom. What would you expect from a self proclaimed Druid? Plus he argued his own case and won!

1896 – The X-ray machine is exhibited for the first time. An hour later the first IME Report is issued claiming the plaintiff’s injury is a pre-exisiting condition.

1911 – Eugene B. Ely lands on the deck of the USS Pennsylvania stationed in San Francisco harbor, the first time an aircraft landed on a ship. This doesn’t sound so big until you realize it was a platform on the back of a Cruiser not on an Aircraft Carrier!!!

1919 – Bentley Motors Limited is founded. Gangstaz and Ballers everywhere rejoice.

1958 – Willie O’Ree, the first African Canadian National Hockey League player, makes his NHL debut. Ironically, it is for the Boston Bruins. So the Bruins will get their first black hockey player, and we all know how many of them they are overrunning the sport and all, three years BEFORE the Red Sox become the last baseball team to integrate with the immortal Pumpsie Green. You can’t make this stuff up!

1967 – Albert DeSalvo, the “Boston Strangler”, is convicted of numerous crimes and is sentenced to life imprisonment. F. Lee Bailey makes a name for himself, Tony Curtis stars in a movie and The Stones get a hit record with “Midnight Rambler”.

1981 – Phil Smith and Phil Mayfield parachute off a Houston skyscraper, becoming the first two people to BASE jump from objects in all four categories: buildings, antennae, spans (bridges), and earth (cliffs). Paratroopers everywhere say “Who gives a crap?” If you aren’t carrying 68lbs of parachute, 100lbs of gear, jumping out at 1000′ in pitch black sky then you are still a leg.

1990 – Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Barry is arrested for drug possession in an FBI sting. This may be the funniest one yet. This doesn’t stop him from doing TWO more terms as Mayor, one post conviction! He is currently a city counselman there. People truly get the government they deserve.

1994 – The Cando event, a possible bolide impact in Cando, Spain. Witnesses claim to have seen a fireball in the sky lasting for almost one minute. This is awesome as it the “… the biggest interdimensional cross-rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!” Thank you Dr. Ray Stanz!

2012 – SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (Protect IP Act) is opposed online on internet by Blackout (2012 Wikipedia blackout). The only people impacted are college and high school kids who waited until the last minute to finish those papers.

Happy Birthday:

1813 – Joseph Glidden, American farmer who patented barbed wire and inadvertently killed the Cowboy

1882– A.A. Milne, Author Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh……

1892– Oliver Hardy, Actor “Well Stanley….this is another fine mess you’ve got me into”

1904– Cary Grant, Actor “Judy, Judy, Judy” which he never said on film.

1955–Kevin Costner, Actor and Cigar Store Indian a/k/a The Man of a Single Emotion

Adios:

1936 – Rudyard Kipling, author (Gunga Din, Nobel 1907)

1952 – Curly Howard, American actor and comedian, Nyuck Nuyck A Trajoidey

1996 – Minnesota Fats, [Rudolf Wanderone Jr], billiard hustler

2003 – Edward “The Sheik” Farhat, American professional wrestler

Holidays:

Feast of St. Ulfrid. Hey they can’t all be diamonds.